Rejuvenation
by FreedomInTheMusic
Summary: Tori's life was not the source of warmth and sunshine she once was. Jade became the unlikely source of comfort for a broken Vega, however now Tori must make a choice. Take the easy way, or the hard way? Jori. Rated M just to be safe for language and possible triggery things.


**Rejuvenation**

**Disclaimer:**I own nothing of _Victorious_ and if I did, you can bet it wouldn't be having its final episode tonight.

**A/N: I finally got the inspiration to write a Jori fic again! It is a shame the inspiration had to be from the sadness of **_**Victorious **_**ending, so be warned this isn't a ray of sunshine. Also it's set about 10 years after graduation from Hollywood Arts. I hope you enjoy it anyway!**

**Warning: **Mentioned character death, contemplation of suicide (I told you that it really wasn't a ray of sunshine)

* * *

**Out of the Darkness**

A miniscule fire crackled in the oversized hearth, failing to give the large room it resided in the necessary heat for the fire to even be useful. The shadows cast by the flickering lights appeared to lick against the furniture, the walls and the stoic face of the owner of the house, threatening to devour them in this dark hour. If only such dismal sights were rare in the house of Tori Vega.

Tori's eyes were trained on the fire, trying to remember the times when this room had been shining with a light as bright as the woman it belonged to. The warmth given off had seemed to almost emit from the structural stone and shine out, attracting everyone towards it as if they were moths to a particularly robust flame. It had been a place of happiness and sunshine, until the darkness had begun to take over.

It occurred so slowly that it hadn't been obvious, not even to most of those who knew Tori. It hadn't even been obvious to her loyal and adoring fans. Not even the most perceptive, obsessive or fanatic of people had picked up on it. No one had even noticed the light disappear from her eyes. Not until Jade West at least.

It had been the most surprising turn of events for Tori. How could she have ever foreseen that the girl, who had once been the cause of her sleepless nights and constant aggravation, would one day become a crutch for survival? She supposed it was because Jade could recognize that look in her eyes; the cold and cynical dullness that betrayed the partially broken.

Letting out a harsh and biting giggle, Tori watched as the golden brown liquid within her glass swirled around as she took more swigs. It was amusing to her that the warmth of drink slipping down her throat could be one of the only sources of heat she had found for quite a while. It had been Jade who had told her to try whiskey. It had been her to know that although it wasn't exactly in her best interests to find comfort in the form of drink, the warmth had a way of putting a slight smile on your face.

/

_Tori had not been entirely sure for how long she had been sitting on her porch step, only that the shivering and goose bumps hinted at it being quite some time. She just needed to get away from all the fake sympathetic smiles, the fake condolences and most of all the overwhelming pity. It was the kind pity that was inevitably heaped upon a girl who had lost all of her family in a matter of seconds._

_Some sordid part of her couldn't help but laugh coldly. It was typical that a girl who had achieved what most would call an extraordinary life, would lose her parents and her sister in one of the most common of ways. It was almost as if the universe could not stand to see someone like Tori exist without breaking her at her height._

"_Laughing isn't usually an activity the grieving like to indulge in at their darkest moments." Came an indifferent voice from behind the last remaining Vega, causing her to twist her body around to meet the emerald eyes of Jade West._

"_I knew you'd show up at some point." Tori sneered, "Just couldn't resist coming to see Tori Vega in pain. Isn't that what you always wanted Jade?" She let out another one of those cold laughs, instantly worrying the pale, raven-haired girl, who wouldn't typically expect to see Tori with a twister humour such as her own. _

"_Actually, I came for the free booze." Jade replied without showing how off-kilter she thought this whole situation to be. Ungracefully depositing herself on the step next to her old classmate, she handed over a tumbler of drink. "You didn't have any whiskey and I thought you could use some."_

_Tori just eyed Jade curiously; taking hesitant sniffs of the liquid as if smelling for some sort of poison or drug within the beverage. Jade just stared back, her face remaining impassive with a small hint of irritation as the Vega girl finally decided to take a small sip._

_At first the drink seemed to heat up her mouth slightly and that warmth flowed down her throat with the liquid, making her feel better. The second sip was more of a gulp, causing Tori to almost spit the drink everywhere as she started to splutter at the taste and sensations the whiskey had given her._

"_Woah tiger! You have to be careful with that stuff." Jade chuckled, giving Tori an uncharacteristic clap on the back._

"_Why are you being nice to me, Jade?" the brown haired girl asked wearily, taking a smaller sip of her drink and trying not to grimace at the memory of her previous attempt._

"_Do you think so little of me that you would assume I would be anything but nice to you at the wake for your family?" Jade asked, narrowing her eyes at Tori, who just gave her a pointed expression in return. "I guess maybe it's because for once your life isn't all rainbows and sunshine and perhaps that makes us more alike than we ever were before."_

"_You do realise that's kind of fucking messed up?" Tori spat. She made an attempt to stand up and leave, but halted at the harsh and sudden grip that Jade had latched onto her arm in an effort to stop her movement._

"_Yes. But aren't we both just two 'fucking messed up' people right now?" She asked, flashing a sad smile._

_Tori rolled her eyes and gave in, allowing herself to be guided back to her position on the step by Jade's firm hand. She didn't know whether it was the whiskey or the sadness that cause her to place her head on Jade's shoulder, but either way she was surprised when Jade wrapped an arm around her to pull her in closer. _

_The both of them stared out across the street, content in each other's company and silence. Tori didn't know why this was happening, or why it had been Jade to bring her comfort instead of Andre. Putting that aside, all Tori knew was that she'd be lost with this moment. Perhaps this could be the start of something else entirely, maybe even a new level of friendship for Jade and Tori._

"_So…how about another glass of whisky?"_

_/_

Tori smiled at the memory. It really had been the beginning of something very new for the two girls. It had worked well for both of them, with Jade embracing the dark aspects of life and Tori trying too hard to fight them off. It balanced them in a way they had been missing at Hollywood Arts.

In some twisted way the death of her family had lifted her up in terms of her career, not that it was in a bad position before the accident. The media loved a sob story and her fans grew in both number and their passion. Of course, Tori should have been prepared for the fact that the level of interest to get a story on the poor, grieving singer would result in an invasion of privacy that reached heights that Tori had never thought she'd experience.

It became an issue of when was the best time of day to duck out of her home just to go out and get some food. Feeling like a prisoner in amidst the scary world of photographers and fans was almost too much for the girl to bear. She was very good at hiding it though. Years of acting in plays at school had ensured that, as well as helpful tips from an ever present Jade.

In hindsight, it kept the unlikely friends close and for that Tori was grateful for.

Tori looked to the table that bore the reason for this trip down memory lane in Tori's mind. Placed side by side on the table where two unlikely friends, just like her and Jade. She had to make a decision about which one she was going to use at the end of this evening.

Swallowing another gulp of whiskey, she allowed the burn to become almost unpleasant as she downed the rest of the drink. She had to move on in her thought process, concerned that her mind would become addled with drink and her eyes would become heavy. It was a race against time to do this before she succumbed to sleep, just as she had done on the previous nights she had planned for this decision making process. But Tori had never been good at making decisions and frequently made the wrong ones. She had certainly lost a lot through the ideas that her mind had convinced her were the right ways to proceed.

/

_The world was spinning by the time Tori felt herself be scooped up into the strong yet soft arms that she knew must belong to Jade. She had been in the house while Tori had been drinking, so it must have been her. At least, she hoped to God that it was her friend with obscene social skills instead of some stalker who had happened to climb through a window. Such a scary scenario wasn't actually a far cry from the truth of a couple of months before. _

"_Oi Vega, how much have you had to drink?" Jade asked, brushing some hair out of Tori's eyes._

"_Not much." Came the gruff reply as Tori's head lolled to the side._

"_Tori…you have to stop beating yourself up over this! It isn't your fault that your so-called best friend decided that you were no longer worth his time!" Jade growled, trying to position Tori upright so she could look her directly in the eyes and keep her from falling unconscious._

"_And if I had been stronger then Andre wouldn't have decided I was a lost cause Jade! _I_ didn't talk to him! _I_ yelled at him! _I _told him that our friendship was worthless to me! And for what? So that he would just let me wallow in my self-pity?!" Tori snapped, her eyes gleaming with hatred, anger and tears. "I don't deserve him and you know it Jade."_

"_Look, you've been a bitch, I know._" _Jade chuckled, trying to elicit at least a slight upwards curl of Tori's lips. "But you deserved more than to be deserted in your time of need! I may not have been you best friend before, but Goddamn it Vega I refuse to let you go without one now."_

_Tori's eyes widened. Jade had never implied that they were best friends before now. Sure, she had moved on from the phase where she denied any friendship altogether, but for Jade to think of her as being important enough to be her best friend? Even in her drunken state, she couldn't help but identify the warm swell in her chest._

_If truth be told, Tori hadn't been entirely a stranger to this feeling when it came to Jade. The woman had been increasingly causing warmth to run over the brunette. Every hug that Tori forced upon Jade made her heart skip a beat and a moment without the raven-haired beauty was painful. It had been part of the reason Tori had pushed everyone else away. She couldn't risk them all knowing what she was feeling._

_She was falling in love with Jade West. That much she knew for certain and right now, with Jade cupping her face and wiping away the tears running down her cheeks, she felt it now more than ever._

_In a haze, Tori grasped Jade's wrists suddenly, catching the other woman off guard. Jade looked at her questioningly, unable to tell what a drunk Tori would do next._

_It was Jade's turn for her eyes to widen as Tori moved her head to place a soft kiss on the palm of Jade's hand. She peppered the skin with more kisses, tilting her head up so she could gauge Jade's reaction under heavy lidded eyes. The lack of a rejection urged Tori to continue._

_Bringing herself up onto her knees, Tori mimicked Jade's earlier actions by cupping her face in her hands. Tentatively she began to slowly close the distance between Jade and her, pausing an inch from her lips as if testing whether Jade wanted to continue this or not._

_It didn't take much thinking on Jade's part before she closed the distance, kissing Tori so tenderly that she almost confused herself. Usually her kisses were passionate and hard and full of urgency, whereas this seemed so easy and slow and right. Tori sighed into the kiss as it deepened, content in the feeling of being wanted in this moment by a woman she was sure that she loved._

_Tori dragged Jade down as she slipped onto the ground, ensuring that Jade was holding herself above Tori as she ran her tongue along Tori's bottom lip, seeking permission to enter her mouth; permission which Tori gave quickly._

_It was Jade who broke the kiss, looking as though she had shocked herself by her actions. It would have been enough to make the old Jade come out with a snarky remark that would cut the youngest Vega deep, but seeing the needing and content expression on the woman's face, she just couldn't be that girl again. This was a new Tori and a new Jade, the ones who had leveled each other out and begun to work together and understand each other. Jade couldn't take that away. It was all she had ever been looking for and never found. Not with Beck or the other guys she had dated. She had found it with her so-called enemy._

"_Tori you're drunk." Jade sighed, remembering as she looked down into the glazed eyes of Tori Vega._

"_What does that mean?" came the whispered response, a fear etching onto her face._

"_It means that I am going to take you upstairs, get you to drink some water and you are going to sleep. We can't go any further tonight."_

_Tori whined in dissent, but allowed herself to be pulled off of the floor anyway. Jade slung one of Tori's arms around her shoulders and propped her up as she half carried her up the stairs, with minimal help from the singer. _

_It didn't take long for Jade to have stripped Tori down to her underwear and forced a few glasses of water down her before the brunette had agreed to be tucked into bed._

"_Stay with me." Tori whispered, her eyes slowly closing as tiredness overtook her._

_Jade nestled into the space behind Tori's back, tracing soothing patterns on the girls back as she drifted off into sleep. Her breathing was not yet deep and steady, so Jade could tell she wasn't fully there yet._

"_I love you, Jade."_

_Jade's mouth flew open at the whispered words from the drowsy and intoxicated girl. Tori had never shown any romantic interest in her before tonight, how could this be possible?_

_Emerald eyes glinted in the darkness as she studied her friend, who had obviously just slipped into sleep with the utterance of those words. With a sigh Jade put one arm around Tori's waist, pulling her closer and taking in the sweet coconut scent of her hair, before drifting off into a peaceful slumber herself._

_/_

Pushing everyone away had brought sorrow to Tori's heart. Having Andre not return any of her calls, or messages of any kind still felt like someone was stabbing a knife through her chest. The only person who she hadn't pushed away had been Jade, who had been dragged almost too close to be healthy.

She hadn't learnt of her confession until Jade had told her two months after the incident, when Tori had actually uttered the sentiment in a more sober setting. Jade was still apprehensive about letting such feelings from her corner be known, something that infuriated Tori to no end. It was the very reason why she was here now.

Tori reached out to the table, picking up a small bottle of prescription pills that was mostly full at this stage. She rolled it over in her hands, feeling the wait of it and trying to picture the consequences of such a bottle.

It made her sick to the stomach to think that if she had just been patient with Jade that this wouldn't be happening. It wouldn't have been three weeks since she had seen her love. Her love would be wrapped in her arms as they sat and watched the fire flicker in its rightful home and just for once feel content with the world.

But that wasn't possible. Tori had become too impatience and had snapped, just like she had with everyone else. Jade had suggested they get away, to get out of this toxic world they had found themselves in and escape to somewhere where they could start new lives. Find a new happy ending.

It scared Tori deeply. She felt empty, yes, but what was to say that she would feel any better else where? The once adventurous girl had grown to fear change, just wanting to remain in her large house in Los Angeles and live out her years, with Jade. But Jade had been insistent, claiming that Tori was just scared of being happy because she thought it would be taken away.

It was then that Tori had thrown the lamp at Jade's head, barely missing by an inch.

"_Call me when you've stopped running scared Vega. Aren't you tired of just getting on with life and not finding what you truly want?"_

The slam of the front door and the empty sound that had filled Tori's house after had been the torment within her dreams for the past few weeks. It chilled her bones and filled her nightmares. She knew she had to make a decision.

In her other hand she picked up the other item on the table, her phone. She knew that if she pressed the speed dial, she would be a moment away from hearing Jade's voice on the other end. They could run into an uncertain future together and attempt to be happy. That ending wasn't set in stone however and such uncertainty wasn't the way Tori liked to live her life anymore. She couldn't live her life like that anymore.

She took a deep breath and emptied everything else from her mind and concentrated on a vision of her and Jade. She could see the best case scenario, complete with albeit an unconventional family, but a family nonetheless. She could see perhaps a child and evenings cuddled in front of the TV where Jade would insist they watch some heinous horror film that would make Tori's skin crawl. She could see the petty arguments that would never disappear when it came to the two of them, but she could see the make-ups and the nights where they could feel safe and sound, wrapped in each others arms.

Wearily Tori glanced at the bottle of pills again, forcefully putting it back on the table and cradling the phone in both of her hands instead. This was the time to be the brave girl she used to be. This was the time to be the girl who would go out and grab what she wanted from life to make her happy and the one who had always got what she had wanted in the end.

Keeping this feeling in mind she felt rejuvenated to start a new life. She could afford to be weak and to never know whether she could have her happy ending after all.

She took a deep breath and pressed the keypad on her Pear Phone forcefully, willing it to almost dial her girlfriend faster than was actually possible. She held her breath as the dial tone continued insistently, to the point where she feared she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen.

"Tori?" Came the automatic response from Jade on the other end.

Tori remained silent for a second; reveling in the fact that she was hearing Jade's voice again for the first time in weeks. She had a smile in place on her face, forgetting all about the other option she had given herself almost instantaneously.

"I've made my choice Jade, let's do it. Let's get out of here."


End file.
